Let's not even get into how ridiculous the concept of a Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame is, or how idiotic that it basically follows the geriatric Rolling Stone definition of what "classic" means, because those are just obvious truths. Instead, allow me to shed some light on the thinking behind, and my own thoughts on, this year's nominees.
There you have it, my thoughts and commentary. Now it's time to tell me what YOU think!
Alice Cooper - Yes. Heard his early scary prog stuff? He wasn't always a cartoon. I'm down with this possibility.
The Beastie Boys - As years have gone on this trio has gleefully broken rules and defied expectations, so I approve of this pick too.
Bon Jovi - I'm guessing Billboard had something to do with this. Sorry Jon, you ain't rock.
Chic - Badass funk that should be included if for no other reason than Nile Rodgers is an insanely bad motherfucker behind the boards and on-stage.
Neil Diamond - I love Neil, and he wrote some killer tracks for other bands but no thanks.
Donovan - Famous folkie included for variety's sake; once related via marriage to another of this year's nominees!
Dr. John - No, no, no, just no.
The J. Geils Band - You may not believe this, but once upon a time these cats were some of the most fiery performers around, lacing blues rock with electric vinegar. I understand most people only know them from "Centerfold" but believe me when I say they are probably one of the most deserving of this year's nominees. Despite the fact Jann Wenner and Co. cream at the mere sight of them.
LL Cool J - I've seen LL live and he does rock, but sadly the only reason he's on here is to give hip-hop a little more recognition.
Darlene Love - Obligatory "The Worked With Phil Spector" candidate. She won't win because no one wants to mention Spector in their speeches.
Laura Nyro - Obscure folkie, included to appease guys that hunted for out-of-print vinyl in the '8s. And indie rock boys who think she's still underrated and undiscovered even though everyone knows who she is.
Donna Summer - I thought disco was punk rock again six five years ago, isn't this a bit late?
Joe Tex - Old rock and roller, again included as a tip of the hat; no pun intended.
Tom Waits - I don't think Waits would even describe himself as rock, but he's the scariest person on this list so I say induct him and let him make fun of everyone in his acceptance speech! FUN FACT: No one will know he's making fun of them until the next day when they read commentary on the ceremony.
Chuck Willis - Wrote "The Stroll" and the list needs someone from that time period to make it look as if the Hall Of Fame is actually aware of artist's "historical importance."