The following things are true:
- I have an ability to make faces like an animated charachter causing some to dub me a living cartoon and then get ocular whiplash as I whip between frenzied faces and utter static dead stares.
- I now officially weigh less than I did in college, although I am not bulkier and more built, though certainly not musclebound.
- I age in reverse.
- I have a divot carved out under my left eye from a cyst dug out by a plastic surgeon that probably should have retired from his craft twenty years before. At the time I was annoyed by it, but now I think it's one of the few things that keeps me from looking like a freshman in college.
- I beat Kim Thayil in a danceoff and haven't seen anyone from Soundgarden since then, and I don't plan on seeing any of them ever again, especially at Lollapalooza.*
- I am DJing Saturday with Keep at The Continental.
- Two years ago, this coming Saturday, I met the love of my life at The Continental. No joke.**
- Not that I'm getting married, but I was thinking about the concept of the actual wedding ritual and realized that such a thing is so prohibitively expensive I a) literally don't know how people afford it and b) don't see how I could ever gather enough money to throw into the ether, never to be seen again, to actually get married.
- If you have tickets you want to sell me to this weekend's Cubs / Cards games I wold be eternally grateful, especially since GalPal is from St. Louis and guaranteeing her attendance would bring a smile to her face that would light me up.
- I need a haircut.
- I need a shave.
- I need, and am thankful, for your attention.
**More on that tomorrow.