Sunday, April 13, 2008

Sometimes I wonder if I've made a huge mistake.

Sometimes I wonder if I've made a huge mistake.

Y'know, it's been a few months, Photogal and I are both happily seeing other people, we still get along, and everything is actually going pretty great. But, I admit, every once in a while I get that nagging twinge that I've made a huge mistake. I mean, that's human, and totally expected, especially after dating the same person for so long.

And we're lucky , since most folks that exit long-term relationships have no one to lean on and we still support each other. And, honestly, I think that makes dating easier since there's no rush to get into the heavy stuff since we still have that support system. There's none of that fear of abandonment or rejection. We're free to just have fun with the people we're seeing because we know there's someone else there that won't get annoyed when we bitch about stuff or need advice. It's actually really liberating. So why would I think breaking up was a huge mistake?

The answer is obvious: change is scary. I've already gotten through the difficult stuff like moving and financially re-establishing myself, but the really scary part is the idea that eventually our paths will grow more divergent until one day the only way we'll see each other is through a random encounter here and there.

We made the right choice. When I think about how miserable I made her at times, and how angry she made me at times, and the fact that we just couldn't seem to move past a certain point, I know we did the right thing for each other. And I can't speak for her even though I suspect the same is true, but I know I've met some pretty amazing people while dating that I wouldn't have gotten to know otherwise. And I really am the happiest I've been in ages.

So when self-doubt surfaces I just think of all the above and, well, it doesn't totally quell the feeling I might have made a mistake, but it sure helps put it into perspective.

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