Friday, December 30, 2005

I may procrastinate but these are two thing I could only do in 2005.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

Time is blurry.

Between no work and no Photogal I really have nothing to keep me grounded. Yesterday I had grand plans to accomplish many, many things and the only thing I managed to do was fall asleep on the couch watching classic Warner Brothers cartoons by 8pm. Way to take advantage of all that time off Tankboy!

At least I have solid plans for the next three days so that should help keep me busy and regain my bearings. Here's where you can catch me:


Rudy's girlfriend Kelly is spinning at innjoy. He says he will be there to "help" her but I've seen her vinyl collection and that girl needs no "help." I will be there sneaking drinks onto their tab and enjoying Kelly's funk and soul selections. And besides, what's hotter than a girl DJ?


Okay, maybe I have an answer to that "what's hotter" question. We are! As in me and Rudy. As in spinning a rare Friday night at innjoy. As in spinning on the Eve of New Year's Eve. As in the night that the pros go out since the following evening was ceded to the legions of amateurs decades ago. Come see me from 9pm until 2am. Yee-haw!


New Year's Eve. Actually you can't catch me anywhere public this evening unless you're eating dinner at Bella Notte. The rest of the evening will be spent avoiding the amateurs in the streets by attending parties thrown by close friends in the company of even closer friends.

I'm sure I'll reiterate all this stuff as it approaches but hey, I wanted to help you fill out your social calendar early!

Speaking of social, last Tuesday at innjoy was -- as the kids say -- off the hook. Seriously crazy. Some divine hand from above was definitely assisting me with my song selections as I turned in a set that actually seemed to please just about everyone...both faces familiar and new. And there were a lot of new faces, which pleased me to no end.

Sick thought of the morning: I'm actually kind of bored and was considering going into the office today to spare a vacation day...will I do it or will I come to my senses? Tune in tomorrow to find out!

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

What does Toto really know about Africa anyway?

While I am enjoying this temporary bachelorhood, I am also beginning to miss the hell out of Photogal. It's weird not being able to even contact her. I think this is the second-longest we've gone without talking to each other in over ten years. Yikes! I bet she's having a ball on safari in Africa though so I'll soothe my ache with that salve.

In other news I -- after 12+ hours of LOTR -- have discovered that I have hobbit-hair. It might be time for a hair-cut. Also, Lucy the Dog is destructive. I returned home from DJing last night to discover our Christmas tree lying on its side on top of a number of shattered ornaments. Since Betty was in her crate (where she has had to spend time when we're out due to her own recent spate of naughty activities) there was only one possible culprit! Lucy! The Dog! I couldn't believe it!

Okay, time to calm down. I'm getting a little over-excited.

In regards to last night: Eric, what are the chances of you getting hit by two dizzy broads making a u-turn on Damen Ave while we are out in the company of a lawayer? I realize you felt no pain last night but if a deep ache sets into your leg or anything I still have their license plate written on my arm. Let's hear it for partying with the DJ bag that happens to be well-stocked with Sharpies!

On that note, what's goin' down tonight. Anything? Bueller?

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I can't believe I ate watched the whole thing!

After Sunday's shenanigans I decided yesterday should be more of a domestic experience. And what's more domestic than a touching Rob Zombie movie about a family of serial killers? Actually I was surprised by the film. I really enjoyed the sunny '70s style that it was shot in and found the story to be pretty darn good. You might think I'm being sarcastic about the "touching" part but I'm not. Plus, PJ Soles in her underwear? Always a bonus.

Then I did the stupidest thing I could have done. I put in the extended DVD version of The Lord Of the Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring. One DVD turned into another and into another until finally I had fed all three movies theough the DVD player...twelve plus hours later I was finally finished. I think there's an imprint of my back and butt still on that couch.

But I figured hey, why not watch movies until 5am? I can sleep in tomorrow, right? Wrong! Apparently no one gave the pups the memo that I was on vacation so they still want their breakfast at the same time in the morning...early! And now I'm up, and not getting any more sleep. On the bright side it does afford me an earlier start to head out the the 'burbs since I was planning on corrupting my cute little nephew a bit more today while he's in from the frozen North.


Tonight's the night.

I'll be spinning at innjoy tonight -- just like every other Tuesday -- so if you're in from out of town or don't have to work this week or just barely have to work this week this is the perfect night to drop on by, dontcha think? As an added bonus I've arranged for a hosted (read: open) bar from 9pm until 10pm as a sort of "happy holidays/thanks for your patronage" sort of thing so now you really have no excuse to pardon your absence...I'll see you all at 9pm, okay?


True, that.

Monday, December 26, 2005


Well, I went out to Liar's Club last night to whoop it up, but it didn't make me miss Photogal any less. In fact it actually made me miss her more since I'm feeling all yucky -- and therefore overly sentimental -- this morning. I wanna be on safari with her!

Instead I shall just continue to cuddle with Betty and Lucy each night and count the days until Photogal's return.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Vacation, all I ever wanted...

So today is my last day I have to go into the office until 2006. I’m not going to say my last day at work since I’m sure that, even on vacation, I’ll check my e-mail and such from time to time. However at about 6pm today I’m going to comfortably slip into a week-plus of full-time slacking.

Photogal’s departure to Africa to visit the C.I.A. agent her sister on Christmas Day makes my slacktitude possible. I love my gal dearly, but if she was in town I know that she would urge me to make me use my time off “constructively.” Instead, though, she will be 6964 nautical miles away and thoroughly unable to get me to do anything “constructive.”¹

So I’ve been sitting here this morning thinking of ways to spend my time off and have come up with the following list of possible activities. If I can’t go to Kenya I might as well take full advantage of the time alone, right?

  • Get reacquainted with my DVD collection of all the Emma Peel episodes of The Avengers.
  • Finally watch all the extended versions of the Lord Of The Rings trilogy.
  • Drink. Fall down. Repeat.
  • Grow a beard. Okay, maybe not.
  • Get some serious writing done. Dream of grad school. Get some more writing done. Dream of book tour. Write some more.
  • Record a podcast for donewaiting.
  • DJ at innjoy on Friday December 30 for the eve of New Year’s Eve. Watch cute boys and girls dance.
  • Oh yeah, and DJ at innjoy next Tuesday as well. Maybe I should make it a best of 2005 themed evening? Eh, we’ll see how I feel.
  • Catch up on all my magazine reading. I like how every time the end is in sight (like yesterday morning) all of a sudden The Economist, New Yorker, Harper’s and Newsweek all decide to pop through the mail slot at the same time (like yesterday afternoon.)
  • Read all of the books I’ve already partially devoured. Yes, I’m looking at you Mr Foster Wallace and Mr Eggers. And you Mr Tin House Collective.
  • Four syllables. Home pedicure.
  • Eat chocolate chip cookies.
  • Finish compiling that Best Of list for donewaiting instead of constantly being guilty of procrastination in regards to that subject.
  • Refuse to drive unless it is to see my mom and/or nephew.
  • Find Jeff Tweedy. Kick him in the balls. Repeat until he promises to start writing good music again.
  • Find the guys in Clap Your Hands Say Yeah. Kick them in the balls. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
  • Find Ryan. Shake some sense into him. Berate him for thrusting Clap Your hands Say Yeah on the world. Don’t forget the kick in the balls. Repeat.
  • Get press release ready for the final Rockit Girl show.
  • Get some serious puppy-lovin’ time in. I think Betty the Beagle and Lucy the Dog will be very happy to have me around so much.
  • Make reservations at Bella Notte for New year’s Eve with Rudy and Josh. And their ladies. But not my lady.
  • Find someone to kiss at midnight that night. Slowly allow it to sink in that that person may well be a drunken $in since he’ll be kissing anything in sight.
  • Wombat.
  • Get my snare drum and ride cymbal back. Playing the drums at Rudy’s last weekend put the bug back into my system and now is the perfect time to make noise while Photogal is so far away.
  • Take out the garbage at least once.
  • Teach myself Sanskrit, time allowing of course.
  • Loaf.

¹By constructive I mean “fixing stuff up around the house and the two-flat she owns. You know, worthwhile uses of my time. But who wants to use their vacation in a worthwhile way? Not me!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

The Real Cool Shuffle

One of my favorite podcasts is a weekly one put out by The Real Cool Kids, a trio of improv comedians out of Seattle, and it is because of them that I have learned of a sure to be awesome star vehicle for Samual L. Jackson...Snakes On Planes. This movie will be so huge someone has already recorded an audio trailer for the film.¹

Okay, once you've wiped the tears from your eyes and massaged feeling back into your jaw after laughing so hard, prepare yourself for yet another audio gift. Once tankPOD learned I allowed diPOD to create a mix he got all like, "Dude², I was here first, I've got the sexy, boxy body and quartet on selection keys that light up bright red..and dude, I'VE GOT THE TUNES, so when do I get to make a mix?" Well, I threw him into shuffle mode last night on the way home from the bar and after the first three selections I decided I would let him go whole hog and turn in his own mix. So here is is.

Download the "Doin' The tankPOD Shuffle" mix

Yeah, so there's that. I've formatted it so it'll play in tankPOD’s pre-selected order if you load it into iTunes too, so you’re welcome.

¹Awesome, no?
²Okay, neither I nor tankPOD ever really say "dude" but I decided that it sounded funny so I’m going with it. Not everything I write here has to faithfully mirror actual events y’know.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Too hot for the presses!

  • Thank God. (Pun intended.)
  • This almost happened when I was visiting Photogal in NYC a few years ago. What a mess. Oh well, it should help in fostering that neighborly side of the holiday spirit.
  • REVEALED AT LAST! The Chappelle Theory!
  • Who do you look like?

(Credz for the last two items entirely due to the .25Lifer, so if you're caught wasting your time on either of those at work blame her and not me!)

I think I'm going to enjoy driving to and from work this week. The image below is yesterday's traffic at 5pm...usually the height of rush hour.

(click the image to enlarge and reveal what made me so giddy...I travel 294 South)

So, informal poll time. Who’s got Friday off and who has Monday off…and who has both days off? How does my schedule work out? Let’s just say that Thursday is my last day of work until the new year…yee-HAW! Drop by innjoy tonight and celebrate this uplifting fact with me.

¹This is what we used to say at the restaurant I worked at a few years ago when ever something just totally shocking happened. This phrase covered everything from a great tip to a rude customer throwing a drink at you. The mangled pronunciation was a reflection of the fact that most of the employees were from far off foreign lands where English was a second or third language. The exaggerated phrasing was meant primarily as an equalizing tactic -- so the phrase sounded the same no matter what your native accent was -- but it also made the word just downright fun to say.

Monday, December 19, 2005

There’s an eight hundred pound gorilla in the room.

Last night’s The Simpsons was, and I can’t believe I’m actually writing this, weak. After years and years and years and years they’ve finally turned out an actual stinker that I can’t believe even made it past the table read. I feel cheated.

What’s more astounding than the shoddy episode though is the fact that it aired uninterrupted at the same time our President was giving a live prime time address from the Oval Office. Have we actually hit upon a point where a live speech gets pre-empted by a Network’s hopes of higher ratings? Is the American public so apathetic by this point that such a thing is even considered a valid procedure? I for one was shocked, stunned and speechless.¹

Something else that left me shocked, stunned and speechless was the Peter Jackson remake of King Kong. Much ink was already been spilled over this film in regards to its near perfection so I entered the theater burdened by a healthy blend of optimistic cynicism. Usually such a thundering critical agreement on a film either means opinions have been half formed in the glare of the initial wonder brought on by a CGI extravaganza like King Kong or it means that the film is the real deal. In this case, the film is definitely the real deal.

As a singular cinematic achievement I think this outweighs anything (and I do mean anything) Jackson has done before. It is certainly one of the most, if not the most heartfelt and engaging popcorn movie I have ever seen. It is true that you do not notice the passage of three plus hours as you watch the film and it is true that the effects are eye-popping to say the least and it is true that all of the actors are expertly used (with the possible exception of Adrian Brody but this slight is more a testament to a certain gorilla virtually stealing the leading man status meant for Brody’s character) and it is true that this is without a doubt the best movie produced by Big Studio Hollywood in the past few years.

I read that the box office for the past weekend was much less than they had predicted for King Kong but it is with that knowledge that I would like to offer a prediction of my own. This will end up being a film that utilized a huge marketing blitz that will actually benefit more from word of mouth. I also think it could possibly outstrip Titanic – and finally begin to knock that s(t)inker from the pop cult record books – since the movie appeals to boys bang ‘em up sensibilities and girls’ sentimental proclivities.²

Do not wait for the DVD/VHS/PSP/whatever of this movie, King Kong was meant to be experienced on a thirty foot movie screen with THX sound, a big tub of popcorn and a big ol’ soda…just don’t forget to hit the bathroom first because you won’t want to miss a second.

¹Keep in mind I didn’t exactly switch the channel away from my Fox Prime Time programs to view the speech, so I’m not above reproach in the criticism I’m leveling. However I read so much that I already knew what Dubya was going to say so I didn’t really miss anything. My comments are meant to be directed towards the general public audience for whom such speeches are actually a primary means of obtaining and digesting White House policy.

²Photogal literally cried through the last third of the film. I almost did too. Seriously.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Another brief post easily blamed on a much-too long week…but now with more whitening power!

I went to a holiday dinner with Photogal earlier this week and while most of the folks were terrific conversationalists and entertaining to talk to, there were a few that weren’t doing so well and it sort of tugged at my heart-strings. At one point, after I heard one guy repeating the exact same he’d already told four times before to a new arrival I felt a bit like I was dining on the island of lost toys.

I was unemployed for nine months at one point and while that sucked I kind of knew that eventually something had to come along. As you get older I’m beginning to realize that isn’t always the case, especially when you were once a senior executive at a company who no longer has a job and you’re looking for placement ahead of hungry young guns in an already over-crowded field. Now that’s a scary prospect.

But hey, this is the start of the weekend and who wants to reflect on the depressing job prospects of people we barely know? Well, I guess I do, actually, but let’s move on anyway.

Need some ideas on how to spend your time this weekend? I offer a few options here. I won’t make it to see Mommy And Daddy tomorrow, but I will be at Double Door tonight and really think you should do the same.

And it’s been about two weeks since my inaugural mix was posted, so I guess it’s time for another one. This was constructed entirely by diPOD by putting her in shuffle mode and then just letting her rip. Now diPOD is loaded up with songs and artists that Photogal loves, but she’s also holding a truckload of my own music. In some ways she mirrors tankPOD but relies more heavily on a stripped down hit laden selection since she I now use both of them to DJ with. It’s interesting to see how her song selection veers from favoring me to tickling Photogal…and then tries to playfully tease us with one song or another. Any way, here it is:

It’s a diPOD Surprise!

Play the songs in the order they are numbered (you'll probably have to re-arrange them if you just load them into iTunes.) I’ve also included a track by track commentary so I hope you enjoy that as well. I guess I should probably bow out now, wish you a merry weekend and get on the get-go before I slip back into any melancholic observations.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The coolest apartment in Chicago is NOW AVAILABLE!

Photogal owns a two-flat in Logan Square and the first floor unit is becoming available. Here are the deets:

2 bedroom apt in a sweet brick 2-flat located in Logan Square. Refinished wood floors, original woodwork, freshly painted, new appliances, fenced in backyard, laundry in building, great deck for summer grilling. Quiet and safe street. Available 2/1, won't last! One month's security, tenant pays utilities. $950/month. Contact Diann at 773/391-9434 or

It's a great little pad so if you're interested call her NOW before someone else snatches it up...
This entry should not be taken as a hint that I have gotten so lazy that I actually think posting pictures is the same as writing an actual piece, but due to time constraints over the past few days this will have to do for now.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Where's all that snow?

I brought a bunch of work home with me last night in expectation of being snowbound today, so where is the snow?

Damnit Tom!

Oh, wait, what's this?

Don't we clean up good?

Okay, enough nonsense for today.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005


Tonight is the Three Year Anniversary Party for Sweet Alice Tuesdays and it's being held at innjoy! We’ve been through two bars, dozens of guest DJs, hundred of bad movies playing on over-sized television screens, a thousand and one sexy dances and countless shots of Makers Mark. Tonight we’re celebrating all of these things and more with DJ sets from yours truly and Rudy as well as a live set from the incredible glam pop sounds of The Ladies & Gentlemen! And what does all this cost you? NOTHING! It’s all free. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s an open bar from 9pm until 10pm, but make sure you print out this flyer¹ in order to take advantage of that added extra.²

So, to recap:

3rd Anniversary Party
Sweet Alice Tuesdays
9pm until 2am
Live music from
The Ladies & Gentlemen
The Now Sounds of Today
spun by
DJs Tankboy & Rudy Tuesday
Open bar from 9pm until 10pm with flyer




Sunday afternoon I was picking up some milk at the local White Hen when an older gentleman approached me with a clip-board. Our conversation was as follows.

OLDER GENTLEMAN: Hi, will you sign this petition to get John Stroger on the ballot again.
ME: Um, I don’t think so. I’m not really a fan.
OLDER GENTLEMAN: What, are you a fan of higher taxes?
ME: (shrugging I think to myself that’s kind of a loaded question with no easy answer.)
OLDER GENTLEMAN: Oh I get it, you’re a Republican!
ME: No, not at all actually.
OLDER GENTLEMAN: Well, whatever.

For the record, I will usually sign any petition anywhere since I think just about everyone deserves to be on a ballot. Stroger, however, is a pawn of the Democratic Machine here in Cook County (and is therefore merely a face chosen by the Chicago Machine) so there’s no chance he won’t get on the ballot. There’s even less of a chance that he’ll lose in the actual election. Now, as I said, I will usually sign any petition but in this case the candidate in question has already proved his incompetence and I don’t think he deserves to run again. If you’ve ever heard the man speak, or read reports from press conferences it becomes painfully obvious that the man did not get to where he was due to superior brain power.³ So no, older gentleman, I don’t feel the need to sign a petition in this particular instance.


…and tragedy!

Yesterday I got up really early and was off to the gym a half hour before my usual start time. The fact that I was ahead of schedule and my morning was running perfectly should have alerted me to impending disaster but I blissfully moved on with my day. As I pulled my toasty car (I started it twenty minutes before leaving so it’s be all warmed up and the engine would be happy) I suddenly slipped out of gear. In an automatic car this is not a good thing. I limped along for a few blocks before giving in to the obvious fact that something was wrong and it wasn’t just going to fix itself. Luckily my mechanic is located a mile for my house so I crawled to his garage in first gear, surely upsetting the long trail of cars behind me. Sorry about that folks, there really was no way for me to go faster.

So I dropped off the car and then drove Photogal to work so I could borrow her Jeep and head to work myself. In the afternoon I got the call, my transmission needed to be replaced and it was going to cost me a minimum of $2,300.00. Two thousand three hundred dollars! I do not have that much money. I mean, I just don’t! It’s days like this that I really miss the working in the city and not having a car. This really reminds me that while I love my job and think my boss rocks I really really hate the commute! So what am I going to do? I have no idea. Can you sell blood plasma in Illinois or is that just an Iowa thing?

¹Seriously. You have to have the flyer to get the open bar so do not forget to print it out!
²"Added extra" is redundant, isn’t it?
³Seriously, the dude is less well-spoken that Daley, and I didn’t believe that was possible!

Monday, December 12, 2005

Another year, another round-up.

It’s that time of the year again. It’s time to put together a list of my favorite albums that were released in the past year. This is one of those things that rock and/or roll critics love doing and I’ve looked forward to this activity ever since I started having to compile my thoughts on this subject for various newspapers and then web-sites.

This year I’m not feeling it though.

Part of it probably has to do with the changing nature of my relationship with music. The web has opened me up to more new artists than ever before so I literally only listen to most albums once or twice now before either lifting tracks to DJ with or forming and writing a critical analysis of that particular release. The flip side of this development is that it’s relatively easy to pinpoint which artists are really knocking my socks off since those discs find themselves regularly spun in their entirety. This past year hasn’t seen a whole lot of knocking off of the socks though.

I think the other problem I’m facing is list burnout. This falls under the same category as “everybody’s a fucking critic now.” I enjoy the voice that the web has offered to music fans the world over but that doesn’t mean I’m not getting a little sick of having to listen to all those voices clashing and crashing together. When you add the effect of most print magazines having gone absolutely gonzo over the publication of various types of lists at the end of the year (not to even mention VH1, MTV and E!) the concept begins to lose a bit most of its impact.

Ah well, I’m sure I’ll regain my mojo when I actually sit own to compile this year’s list. I do fear that the whole activity has become rather inconsequential at this point though. At this point, when everyone is so consumed with making their own voice heard, who’s even listening anymore?

Friday, December 09, 2005

Photo Fun Friday!

It’s the end of what has been a very, very long week so in lieu of doing anything that requires any serious thought I reckoned today would be the perfect chance to unload a few photos that have been floating around the Tankboy International corporate office. As always, if you would like to enjoy the images at their original size and resolution you need only click over the picture and your wish shall be my Blogger’s command.

First off, let’s hear it for Amazon. I ordered this Wednesday, it showed up Thursday and I only paid seventeen bucks for it versus the twenty-five I would’ve shelled out in the book store. Plus due to this promotion I signed up for -- that I shall cancel before they actually have a chance to charge me anything -- shipping was gratis! Guess what I’m tearing through this weekend if Photogal allows me the time?

Here is photographic proof of the mayhem and havoc that children cause. The man above was a dyed-in-the-wool Conservative bible-banger up until the birth of his first child a few years ago. Now look at him!

This poll was running on yesterday’s Tribune web-site and was geared towards women in connection with an article about the declining use of nightgowns as bed-time attire. See what sort of dress code garnered the highest percentage of responses? See why over the years I have come to believe that Chicago women are the best? See? See?!

Did I tell you about this? Yes? I did? Well click on it and print it out! YOU MUST BRING A COPY OF THE FLYER ABOVE TO TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE OPEN BAR FROM 9pm UNTIL 10pm THAT NIGHT! Who wants to miss out on free booze? Not you!

As I’m sure you’re aware, my poor little nephew is forcibly being brought up in the wilds of Canada, in that godforsaken wasteland Toronto to be precise. See where they force him to sleep? See? See?!

Okay, I was kidding. As the above action series displays, Alex is well-cared for and quite the happy little baby. Now if only we could smuggle him over the border and keep him here without his parents finding out.

For no reason at all…COWBELL!

Finally, in a bit of shameless self-promotion, I have a show at Elbo Room tomorrow that should be tee-rrific. She's Your Sister left town for California a few months ago and this show marks the hometown release of their new CD, so don't miss it. Here are the deets:

Saturday December 10
Elbo Room

Jonny Rumble
She’s Your Sister
Logic Of Elliott
The Spoken Four

Doors: 8pm
Show: 9pm
$8 cover

I think it’s fairly obvious in this photo that She’s Your Sister misses living in the Windy City.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Four fucking hours!

That's how long it took me to drive home tonight due to the storm. I'm no fan of my regular commute, but four hours of crawling, bumper-to-bumper, stop-no-go, traffic is a whole different beast. In four hours I could have driven 1/3 of the way to New York, or watched seven Chevy Chase movies, or read two good sized novels or written 1/2 of a good sized novel (okay,maybe just a few chapters), or seen five rock bands, or any number of things.

Instead I spent four hours travelling a little over twenty miles. Unbelievable.
Winning and losing.

So we went to the casino this weekend and by "we" I mean Photogal, her mom and the Mad Moldovan a.k.a. husband to the C.I.A. Agent (said agent A.K.A. Photogal’s sister.) Yeah, so, we all head off. I admit that I wasn’t really too gung-ho about the trip since casinos have roughly the same effect on me as do strip clubs in that both venues tend to severely depress me by virtue of wave after wave of the sheer desperation coming off most patrons involved in either enterprise.

When I’m trying to be empathetic I get wordy so please forgive me.

So the primary reason I acquiesce and go to the casino is because a) I was promised free chicken and I was hungry and b) if I didn’t go I really wouldn’t have a chance to hang out with Photogal at all on Sunday. Originally this seemed like a terrific idea since I had planned on wasting the day on the couch consuming DVD after DVD of empty-minded goodness. As Sunday morning rolled around though I decided that the activity I had so looked forward to no longer seemed as appealing as spending time with my girlfriend.

What the fuck is wrong with me, huh?

I keep avoiding talking about the casino itself and I don’t really mean to. We got there and found out that you had to pay admission for entry (which makes no sense since who the hell wants to pay money to lose money?!) which prompted Photogal’s mom to don the boxing gloves only to be faced off at the pass by a generous lady with a bunch of tickets leading to our free admission. Once inside it was just as S-C-A-R-Y as I thought it would be. Photogal asked a gentlemen providing aid on the floor where the non-smoking area was only to be informed that there was NO non-smoking area. That’s when I saw the person with an oxygen tank connected to their chair smoking a Virginia Slim. WHAT?!

I know you’re dying to know how much money I lost so I’ll just blurt it out right here and end the anticipation. I usually don't gamble, but when I do I try to bet with only as much dough as I can afford to lose, but this time I broke my own rule and lost more than I could afford.

I left the casino down six bucks. Yes, I am that poor right now. Thank you very much.

Now I know you are just dying to know how Photogal did, right? Dying dying dying to know.

She played slots and won. She played Blackjack and won. SHE WON AT EVERYTHING! And she more than tripled her money. She has the best luck. She totally sucks. Everyone else in our party lost so I’m sure we looked funny leaving as Photogal skipped on air surrounded by three gloomy storm clouds.

What did I do during her winning streak? I stood behind her reading the latest Davy Rothbart collection of short stories whilst, unbeknownst to me, I was being stalked by the security guards who could figure out a) why I was just standing there and not gambling and b) why anyone would come to a casino to read. I’m a freak. I wish I had noticed this hullabaloo though since Photogal said it was really funny to watch the security guy "nonchalantly" crane his head upside-down in attempt after failed attempt to catch a glimpse of the title of the book I was reading. Sorry security dude, next time just ask.

Anyway, in order to drown the sorrows of this motley crew of mostly losers we stopped at a Steak And Shake in an attempt to find solace in greasy, meaty burgers and oh-so-chocolaty shakes. This indeed would have allowed the day to end happily if I had only kept my mouth shut when the bill came and offered in my own two cents on what the appropriate tip would be on the total. Having worked in restaurants and bars I am of the mindset that you never leave less than five bucks, no matter what the bill’s total, but apparently not everyone shares my belief in this matter. Fair enough. A wise man would have just surreptitiously left a few extra bucks on the table but nooOOOooo, I had to open my big fat mouth and unintentionally insult the person who was actually treating me to a free meal. Talk about biting the hand, man…I felt like such a heel once my righteous indignation had cooled from molten fire to useless slug.

So it sounds like a total disaster, right? I should’ve stayed home and watched movies after all, right? Eating popcorn and sucking on sodas, right?


Even after the lost dough, emotional vacuum of the casino and utter embarrassment of making an ass of myself in a wholly avoidable situation I was still glad I decided to go.


Because ultimately the day’s events put a smile on Photogal’s face and that made it all worth it.¹

So there.

¹I know, I know. You just threw up in your mouth a little. Deal with it. I’m allowed to be mushy about my gal from time to time, okay?

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Um, yeah.

Nuthin' today, but check back tomorrow for a recap of my exciting trip to the gambling casino (is that technically redundant?) this last weekend

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

We are literate, even as we par-tay.


More turbulent than a hurricane.
More scandalous than the Salon des Refusés.
More hip than Lord Buckley.

DJs Tankboy & Rudy Tuesday
are joined by the inimitable duo of
Mags & Diane
for one special evening of
tumultuous tuneage.

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday December 6, 2005
Stunning musical selections from 9:00pm until 2am

$2 PBR bottles
$3 Stoli cocktails
1/2 price burgers (both carnivore and veggie)

And yes, we've got brand new albums
to road test from both
The Strokes
The M's.

Every Tuesday.
Only at innjoy.

DJs Mags & Diane in a moment of quiet reflection.

Monday, December 05, 2005

A quick thought in regards to the new Strokes album.

So that's what Julian's voice sounds like without being distorted and overly compressed? Hmm.
Happy Monday!

This should help us all regain some persepective on life. This is from last week's Economist:

This lowly ragworm may not look much like a human, but a paper in this week's Science, by Florian Raible, of the European Molecular Biology Laboratory and his colleagues, suggests the two have more in common than meets the eye. The human genome is more complex than that of invertebrates such as flies, suggesting evolution has made humans more sophisticated. But the ragworm genome is about as complex as the human one, suggesting that what actually happened was that the flies got simpler and that, genetically, people and worms are equals. (full story)

I always like to start the work-week off with a motivational thought like that, don't you?

Friday, December 02, 2005


This will be huge. There will also be hosted cocktails (hosted cocktails = FREE drinks just in case you don't understand promotional doublespeak) from 9pm until 10pm with this invite so make sure you click on the image above and print it out in order to take advantage of our little present to you.

Free booze. A free live set from the incomparable Ladies & Gentlemen. Free tunes from us. Wow wow wow!




We have heat again! I've been working on a piece for Chicagoist detailing our whole ordeal so look for that soon. Thank you thank you thank you to everyone who offered contractor advice and hot showers and warm beds in case we needed them!

Finally, have you downloaded the inaugural Tankboy Internerd-only mix posted yesterday yet? Whaddya think...should I keep doing these?

UPDATE: If you're dying for more content from me today, I blow a few kisses towards DeRo and Kot over at Chicagoist.

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Cool or fool?

So every morning I find myself eating a yogurt with the brand name Light 'n Fit and the flavor distinction of Lemon Chiffon. Does eating this make me less than a man or does eating this signify I am secure in my masculinity and prove the fact that I am indeed manly?

Or does my embrace of this observation as proof of my manliness mean I am, in fact, not manly at all? You know, kind of the like principle of the directly inverse proportional coolness equivalent wherein one's coolness decreases with every self-assured statement that one is, in fact, cool.

Here, allow the cultural shorthand offered by a scene from The Simpsons to illustrate this maxim.

Homer: So, I realized that being with my family is more important than being cool.
Bart: Dad, what you just said was powerfully uncool.
Homer: You know what the song says: "It's hip to be square".
Lisa: That song is so lame.
Homer: So lame that it's... cool?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Am I cool, kids?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Good. I'm glad. And that's what makes me cool, not caring, right?
Bart+Lisa: No.
Marge: Well, how the hell do you be cool? I feel like we've tried everything here.
Homer: Wait, Marge. Maybe if you're truly cool, you don't need to be told you're cool.
Bart: Well, sure you do.
Lisa: How else would you know?

For the record, I still like Huey Lewis. Does that impugn my manliness in any way?

Well, I don't care.


Well, you be the judge.

I keep threatening to share music with my lovely, slavering, gnome-like readers so I suppose now is as good a time as any to try it out. I have lodged a little .ZIP file filled with lovely mp3 files¹ at the location below, so make with the clicky and download it and burn it and listen and let me know what you think.

The "Cool Or Fool" Mix

Consider this a test...and let me know what you think of the songs², whether you dig 'em or not!

If this works well maybe I can start a weekly or bi-weekly mix...or something...we'll see. I still have yet to record my first podcast for DoneWaiting and I've been promising Rob Duffy I'd do so for quite a while now.

If the link doesn’t work or if it expires let me know so I can update it.

Now it's time to make some coffe so I can warm my hands above my stove.

¹If your band is in this mix and you want your song to be removed please just send me an e-mail and I will do so with the utmost haste. If you’re in a band and now I have unreleased stuff by you that you don’t mind me using in the future, by all means communicate those wishes to me as well!
²Oh yeah...and no, there is no Huey Lewis in this mix although I realize in retrospect that there really should be. Maybe next time.
We have no heat...and no hot water.

Our carbon monoxide detector had been going off sporadically over the last few days so we called 311 -- Chicago's non-emergency city services line -- to see what we should do. Cut to a fire engine, lights flashing, siren blaring and a crew popping up at our doorstep. Flash to a guy in a ventilator expoloring our basement. Pan to all of our windows and doors being opened. Apparently our CO levels were a tad high.

Then the gas company came out and confirmed whatwe had suspected...the problem was debris blocking our chimney that led from our hot water heater and boiler. Unfortunately in this kind of instance they have to disconnect and cap all the gas pipes leading to the boiler and hot water heater until someone else can come out and fix our chimney.

So now we have no heat, which isn't so bad since we can always just bundle up. I would have never thought it, but not having hot water is much more of an inconvenience. No hot hand-washing, no doing the dishes, no shower, no nothin'!

I hope we can get this fixed tomorrow because it is frickin' cold outside and it's only getting colder.

Oh yeah, I obviously didn't make it to see Dinosaur Jr tonight...but I think fixing a CO leak probably takes precedence. Hmmm...I can't believe I just typed that...I must be growing responsible in my twilight years!