Monday, May 31, 2004

Last night rocked.


The gal that hit on me last week apologizing and conceding that my girlfriend is indeed hot.

Photogal puking like a pro behind a bar.

Mass madness.


Friday, May 28, 2004

What to do with myself?

Well, a holiday weekend is upon us – the first really proper holiday since January 1 – and I’ve got fuck-all planned. Maybe some softball on Monday and a BBQ with Photogal’s family but aside from those two options I don’t really have anything planned.

So that means it’s time for folks I know to get on the horn and start arranging some drunken tomfoolery damnit! For once most everyone I know is gainfully employed so this weekend IS actually a break from the norm for once. In the past these working holidays never really meant much besides the fact that it would be harder to get a drink at a bar on a Sunday because every yahoo from the ‘burbs would come into the city to “party when used as a verb.” The upswing? Lotsa girls. The downswing? Longer lead-time inserted causing us to wait longer in-between drinks. This usually led to more shots as a precautionary measure against sobriety somehow encroaching and the end results were never pretty.

Well, now I have a job AND a live-in girlfriend so it’s time for me to start appropriating some of those dumb-ass moves practiced by the yuppies all around me. I’m entitled, right? I put in my time working with them and commuting with them and, ultimately, providing entertainment for them so I should reap some sort of satisfactory reward, right? Don’t I deserve a free pass – and my friends as well – to act like a drunken lout with no thought about the consequences?

Unfortunately the answer is no. I mean, we know better and we can’t help it. Once you’ve seen the light you can’t really go back so I guess me and my pals will do the same thing we do every year around this time and go to a bar that will probably have less of an ass-hole factor and just enjoy each other’s company. The only real difference is that each of us will really enjoy staying out on a Sunday night since it means that for just one Monday we don’t have to rejoin the workforce.

Sweet relief.

So how was Bob Edwards, last night?

Great, thanks for asking. What was the best line of the evening? Oh, glad you asked. During the question and answer session with Bob some guy from Evanston asked, “Can you describe your usual routine you would follow while preparing for Morning Edition when you were the host?”

Bob’s answer was awesome. “Well, I would get up at one in the morning and be on the road by two. But not before pouring a steaming hot cup of coffee directly into my eyes.”

Awesome. Bob rocks.

Thursday, May 27, 2004


Nothing to report. My dad is okay, though, thanks for asking. We’ll know later today when he can get out of the hospital. Apparently his new chemo just wiped out his white blood cells and even a simple cold could very well kill him at this point. Scary. Luckily he’s quarantined in his own room at the hospital so he should be fine.

Tonight Photogal and I geek out and prove what losers we are as we plan on attending the talk by Bob Edwards about Edward R. Murrow that is taking place in Chicago tonight. I am such a NPR dork sometimes.

Wednesday, May 26, 2004

Let this be a lesson to ye.

Never tell your girlfriend that another girl was hitting on you and you politely turned them down and then left the bar they were in. You may think you are showing her how grown-up, mature and in-control of your more base instincts you are, but in fact all you are doing is shoving your foot in your own mouth and looking really foolish.
This just in!

Slinky – that original walking spring toy that looks suspiciously like a coiled length of metal – will soon be starring in two animated feature films and an animated television series.

Presumably all the action will take place either on stairs or on a downhill slope.

..and no, this isn't a joke...
I meant to mention...

Jack Baur cut his partner's fucking arm off! Not as cool as two jets bombing a helicopter -- like a few weeks ago -- but still pretty rad.
My breath smells funny.

My dad’s in the hospital due to a non-existent white blood cell count. This sucks.

Julie and I had a discussion last night about Ultragrrrl and her ilk. This crowd annoys her but I find them kind of fun. Once again though it must be noted I am immune to name-dropping. I guess I just get the fact that they’re younger and, like it or not, seem to be the pop-culture arbiters and tastemakers when it comes to the national exposure of music. So be it, here’s the new boss, same as the old boss, eh?

Also, last night I got to listen to The Killers new disc (they share a manager with the band my friend Dave is in) and I’ve got to admit that it’s pretty fucking awesome. If it weren't for their disc being copy-protected I'd have my own copy of it right now. Screw copy-protection! Thumbs up to the tunes though. Niiiiiiice!

Okay, that’s it for today…I’m a tad preoccupied…

Tuesday, May 25, 2004

Really, no time to talk!

I have to get in to work early, so I can leave early, so I can hit the gym and still get home in time for the final episode of you know the drill. Me and Rudy will be spinning the music that moves you at Ten56 tonight. I'll also be previewing tracks off Rachael Yamagata's forthcoming debut "Happenstance." More info about our weekly disaster of residency can be found here.

Monday, May 24, 2004

Scream to a sigh.

So I just got a copy of the forthcoming debut by my friend Rachael in the mail this weekend and the album is better than I could have hoped. A full review will be up this week at the Lost In Guyville column. The only downside to owning this advance copy is that it must be copy-protected because I tried to make this album one of the initial additions to my new 40G iPod – courtesy the excellent Best Buy four-year service plan that was bought at the same time as my original 30G iPod -- and the whole thing comes out as a stuttering, choppy mess when translated to mp3 form. Oh well, I’ll just have to listen to it at home or in the car I guess.

The album is really, really good though. I’m so proud of her!

Friday, May 21, 2004


My computer just deleted everything off my fucking iPod.

I am returning this thing today...

I am severly pissed.
Waiting for the flood.

It’s wet here. People had to kayak just to get to the show last night. Even high-water jeans were of no use. So let me extend my hearty congrats and grats to the folks who slogged through the wet to experience a great night of the rock and/or roll. Most importantly a heartier thanks to the girlfriend for not yelling at me for stumbling in at the ungodly hour I did.

I had a blast so thanks to all involved! We now return you to the end of your work-week…

Thursday, May 20, 2004


At Double Door it's a show with Thunderwing, Woolworthy, Cordy (featuring ex-members of Veruca Salt, Acumen Nation/Ministry) and Paper Bullets. As an added bonus me and my iPod (fittingly named tankPOD) will be spinning before, in-between and after the bands. As Duffy would say, "Woot!"

Wednesday, May 19, 2004

The secret origin…revealed!

“Where did you get that nickname?”

This has come up a lot lately so I’m just gonna tell you. In the early/mid-90’s I was really into the Tankgirl comics printed in Deadline. I loved the character and when I got my very first e-mail address I reckoned the male version of her name sounded pretty cool. I also had a mailing I did back then that was a precursor to this blog and as people I knew got these ramblings delivered to their computers they began to call me by my nickname. As time wore on and I promoted more and more shows the nom de plume morphed into something more solid – I guess a brand of sorts – and has just kind of stuck on to me over the years.

I usually don't tell this story since most people only know of Tankgirl from the movie, which completely sucked even though Lori Petty tried her best with a lame-o script and Naomi Watts looked unbelievably hot as a brunette. I almost called myself Jetboy...aren't you glad I didn't?

Exciting, eh? Later this week, re-printed on the web, an early tale from that fledgling e-newsletter…the infamous Pig Story!
I wore my hair like a rooster for Morrissey.

It’s true. I totally did that pomade thingie where all the hair in front angles up. It ended up looking more like a fauxhawk than Morrissey’s dapper do’ but the intent was there. Unfortunately nobody got the joke last night. Losers.

Also I made my first DJ faux pas of the year. No matter what you personally think of the tunes that Four Non-Blondes track, written by the lady who gave grit to both Xtina and Pink, it is not cool. Not a good response. Thank god Jeff Buckley came to the rescue.

Also it was my friend Mark’s 30th birthday which gave me an excuse to drink a little Maker’s mark. Not too much though! Photogal was especially impressed by how not drunk I got last night. Moderation, and a new trainee bartender who pours proper drinks instead of the pint glasses of vodka I’m usually allowed, certainly paid off. Maybe I can work that good behavior into a little congratulatory nookie. Positive reinforcement!

I am an idiot. I just realized my friend got her Daisy Glaze moniker from a Big Star song. I knew her cat Chilton was named after Mr. Alex but the Daisy Glaze thing totally flew over my head. And I call myself a music snob? Three spanks on the bottom for me!

Enough blathering. Must reserve energy for the Double Door gig tomorrah!

Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Oh yeah, and as usual...

Me and Rudy will be spinning all sorts of rock and/or roll at Ten56 tonight. Look us to feature new stuff from RJD2, Mirah, Graham Coxon, The Streets, Mission Of Burma, Juliana Hatfield and oh so much more tonight. Read about us here.

Okay, my short temper regarding the cross of low-rise jeans and high-rise thongs is well documented. I would like to say I am not on board with the state of Louisianna and their apparent unease with the flash of a woman's hips. I say more hips, more hips!

Monday, May 17, 2004

No time for love, Dr. Jones.

Exactly what the title implies. No time to write today about old stories involvingmidgets at gas stations, weird tri-level parties taking you from Heaven to Hell in Bronzeville or Brad Pitt in a mini-skirt. Maybe tomorrow.

Friday, May 14, 2004


Saw Scotland Yard Gospel Choir last night and thought they sounded like a peppier Belle and Sebastian. Also, they killed.

Note to the ladies out there: guys are stupidly territorial and yes we know it’s stupid and yet we find ourselves helpless so please forgive us.

This guy has it all wrong. He seems nice but is in that young frame of mind where you think you have all the answers 'cuz things are going so well. Not everybody has the same luck. Girls, we like it when you approach us and talk to us. Also, if the whole meeting in a bar thing never works out like this guy says then how do you explain me and Photogal for the past nine years? Props to him for trying to help out the ladies but a big minus for using youthful wisdom to ultimately steer them in the wrong direction.

Spanish skater punk slays and these guys are proof of that.

These blogs are addictive. Beware. Also, avoid if name-dropping makes you gag. me? I'[m used to it.

This is really poorly put together but I think it may show promise. Now all they have to do is start booking more bands people have actually heard before.

I’ve gotten to the point where I feel guilty if I don’t make it to the gym. I also have started drinking Guiness and Amstel Light again. If I stop drinking Maker’s do the previous statements make me a yuppie?

I am still too cool for school, no matter what the young ‘uns say. However, this guy is too cool for me.

The Webbs can't play my birthday show becasue they are opejing for both Longwave and Franz Ferdinand that same month. While I am bummed they can't do my show I'm psyched to see them in those opening slots. Way to go! Now if only their last -- excellent -- album could get released in the States...

Thursday, May 13, 2004

Gearing up for a busy weekend!

Last night Wicker Park was all fucked up due to filming for The Weatherman – the new Nic Cage movie shooting here in Chicago – right at the intersection of North/Milwaukee/Damen. Apparently Nic has also been spending time at Liar’s Club so the guy can’t be that bad. Just don’t fuck with my neighborhood, okay man?

Tonight I’m checking out both Sour Deluxe at Double Door and The Wes Hollywood Show at The Pontiac. I’m especially excited to see Wes since I’ve missed him the last few times he’s played and his last album was one of my absolute favorite discs from last year. I wonder if Balthazar will be guesting on keyboards?

Tomorrow is an evening chock full of parties with the last stop on the express train to fun being literally half a block from my place. Wa-hoo! It’s gonna be a late night.

Otherwise it’s just business as usual at Tankboy HQ. I’m still putting together bands for my birthday show at Double Door and I think Photogal has convinced me to let her DJ so I can concentrate on just having fun and getting looped.

Anyway, since tonight’s gonna be busy I gotta get into work early so I can get out early sooo (please imaging me affecting that stoner dude’s voice from Dazed And Confused) check ya laaater…

Wednesday, May 12, 2004

Good news, good news and worse news.

For one I got the results recorded whilst a camera was shoved down my throat last week and layers of skin were scraped from my esophagus. There doesn’t seem to be any really terrible long-term damage and as long as my medicine keeps me happy I shouldn’t have any worries.

My dad went in and they scanned him and discovered that the tumor in his esophagus was actually getting smaller so the chemo and radiation seems to be working.

Then they told him that the particular cancer in his throat had migrated to a few other places like his femur, ribs and spine. Not exactly the best news.

Realistically they can’t eradicate these new outgrowths but they do give him some chance of surviving with the proper treatment. I guess they just dose you with chemo, the cancer shrinks and then grows and then a few months later you go in to repeat the process.

Needless to say I’m in a funk about this.

You wouldn’t know it, since I don’t really want to bring it up in casual conversation and when I do discuss it my family’s particularly dark brand of humor tends to undercut how much this freaks me out. I keep thinking about how I never met my paternal grandfather and the only memories I have of him are photos and stories. I feel like I’m lacking something because of it and I want my dad to be around to hold my kids in his arms and create living 3-D stories to reflect on.

This sort of thing isn’t supposed to happen to me or my family.

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

Advance warning…

I totally forgot to mention I have a show I put together coming up at Double Door next week on Thursday May 20! The date sort of fell in my lap a few weeks ago and I’m really pleased with the bill I pulled together to fill it. I’ve never worked with Thunderwing before so that’s exciting, of course you already are aware how much I know and love Woolworthy, Cordy is a wicked-cool slab of shoegazer rock and the Paper Bullets are another trio that ends up on a number of my bills due to how much I dig their groove.

Yours truly will be spinning before, in-between and after the bands in the guise of DJ Tankboy Vs. tankPOD. Basically it’ll be a battle between man and machine as I set my iPod to shuffle and try to keep a connecting thread of musical selections built out of the alternating randomly selected songs. I’m not too worried of picking out a follow-up to each of tankPOD’s selections since I know for a fact that iPod has pretty durn good taste in music…
Why me?

I was up at 4am this morning and could sleep no longer. Having a runny nose dripping down and burning a hole in the back of my throat wasn’t helping either. So I reckon I may as well get a head start on the day and get into work early so I can leave early and maybe enjoy a little weekday daylight for once.

However if I get in too early – and that would be before the older co-workers that are there every day between 7:00am and 7:30am -- I do run the risk of giving one of those poor souls a coronary brought on my the surprise and shock that I can actually function at such an early hour.

Of course I also run the risk of being exhausted tomorrow since I DJ tonight and that compounded with my lack of sleep last night may blend together for a nasty little mix’ll that have Tankboy feeling less than 100% tomorrow. Regardless I must soldier on!

Oh yeah, and as usual, me and Rudy will be spinning all sorts of rock and/or roll at Ten56 tonight. Look us to feature new stuff from RJD2, The Bees, Mirah, Graham Coxon, The Streets, Mission Of Burma, Juliana Hatfield and oh so much more tonight. Also, Metromix still loves us, and that's always nice.

So we'll see you there, no?

Monday, May 10, 2004

A superhero, an abusive computer named Gary and go-go dancers.

Analog Saves the Planet is comprised of just exactly what the header above describes and they put on a hell of a show. I originally came across ‘em as the side-project of The Amazing Killowatts leader Tyson but it’s been years since I booked ‘em. What was I waiting for?!

The crowd at The Pontiac was wildly receptive and I am definitely getting back in the groove – and enjoying – booking the shows there each week. Sunday was spent on the down-low until Photogal and I decided to take Betty for a walk. Along the walk we came across a stray dog.

Two hours later, and after many frustrating calls to various Chicago authorities to get someone out to pick up the pooch, we fashioned a make-shift leash and walked the dog back to our place, made a few calls ourselves and then delivered her – sex discovered amidst a grassy pit-stop – to the Anticruelty Society. They’ll hold on to her for a few days for medical evaluation and in the hopes her owner will call looking for her. If not she goes up for adoption and she’s so little and sweet I can’t see anyone passing up this little doggie in the window. If things do look dire though, we have her tracking number and can always swoop in for a last minute rescue ourselves...

Oh yeah, before I forget, DO NOT PAY ANY FUCKING MONEY TO SEE VAN HELSING. It sucks. It is awful. I wish I had seen Mean Girls or Supersize Me instead. Oh well, live and learn.

Lastly, the endoscopy went off without a hitch though I am a bit freaked by the knowledge that while I was awake during the procedure I don’t remember it at all. They took a few biopsies of my esophageal wall but think that as long as I keep on the medication I’ve been taking my stomach’s torturous pains will be a thing of the past. Yippee!

Friday, May 07, 2004

Of course I'm hungry now!

I'm not at work today since I have to go in for my endoscopy today. Now, before this procedure you're not supposed to eat anything for around six hours and you can't drink anything for four hours. So I planned to eat a tidy little breakfast this morning and then run to the gym so I could get a workout in and consume enough agua to keep my hydrated. All plans were completed to great success. The rest of the time leading up to the procedure should've been a piece of cake since I don't usually eat anything until around 3pm or so anyway.

But, of course, now that I can't eat I am hungry. Figures.

Last night was interesting. Photogal and I met up with some of her co-workers at the Stray Show, which is basically an underground/emerging artist response the much more mainstream and boring Art Chicago event going on this weekend, and toured the vast warehouse space checking out stuff from all over the country. Im must admit to being largely underwhelmed. Some stuff was cool, like a barrel that kept rolling this way and that while spitting out beams of light that was a definite attention-grabber, but most of it just looked like college art-student class projects. I should know, I started out as an art major in college and was guilty of perpetrating some very similar class projects in the name of "art." No matter, the vibe was loose, the pretention level was pretty low all things considered and I generally had a nice time.

Afterwards we hit a sushi place in Wicker Park named Blue Fin I had never been to -- which is odd since I once managed a sushi restaurant -- and we grabbed a few appetizers, pieces and (get this) half-priced drinks! Apparently Thursday is half-price booze night so I grabbed a few small sakes and small Kirins and had a really good time. The sushi itself was remarkably affordable and the pieces were great. Highly recommended and I guarantee I'll be back there.

All in all it was a very pleasant evening with Photogal and her co-workers. I really should hang out with those folks more often. Now I'm going to go chase Betty around the house and take more photos of her with my new little camera-phone. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-haaaa...

Thursday, May 06, 2004

Unspeakably tragic, yet life affirming.

On my way into work today I got a frantic, tear-streaked phone call from Photogal. She had been driving along the highway when she saw a mother duck with about ten baby ducks trapped on the median. She pulled off at the next exit, called the cops for help and got back on the highway to park by the stranded duckies. When she got there she was too late, though, since the mother duck must have decided to soldier on and she and all of her babies were smashed into the road.

This is a sad but inevitable story of man’s intrusion on nature and the inevitable consequences. So while I feel said for the animals that were killed I also can rationalize the fact that such things do happen, they suck and life goes on. What almost reduced me to tears was the pain I could hear in my girlfriend’s voice. As I’ve grown older I’ve begun to realize that one of the deepest and truest indicators that I absolutely love someone is the fervent desire that they never be in pain. When someone I love is in pain it’s almost more than I can stand and I’m filled with bottomless dread, great anger and threaten to break into unrestrained sobbing myself.

So I was sad to hear about the duckies, but I was devastated to hear Photogal so traumatized by the accident. This is the same girl that has called my cell and forced me to meet her under a highway overpass to rescue an injured pigeon. I’ve had to chase down kitties and have come home to a pit-bull in my apartment that she had found wandering our back alley.

I bring up these examples because, while I feel great empathy for animals and would want someone to help out Betty the beagle if she needed aid, I am also a product of society and, honestly, sometimes I don’t want to be bothered. That sounds cold but I think it’s just a a fact that most would ultimately own up to if they were honest with themselves.

Photogal cuts through this ambivalence in me and forces me to confront sadness and accept responsibility for things, while really not my problem, are within my realm of influence. So I end up in situations I would usually avoid but end up happier in the end for dealing with these things. That’s the life affirming part of this little piece. I know I’m in love when I want to suck the venom of pain out of another’s heart and take its mantle upon myself. I also know I’m in love when I find myself doing the right thing whether I feel like it or not due to the positive influence of another. So while I am sad about the duckies fling off to that great pond in the sky I am glad they afforded me this opportunity to recognize just a few of the reasons why I think the person I’m with is tops.

So enjoy ducky heaven where there are no medians and realize that in death you helped someone else see some of the brighter things in life.

Wednesday, May 05, 2004

I’m feeling especially chipper today.

Really, I am. So I’ve decided to keep away from thinking too much for fear I’ll ruin my mood. On the plus side, that means no Tankboy ranting and raving to ruin your day. On the other side, that means no Tankboy ranting and raving to lighten your day.

Them’s the breaks, kid.

Oh yeah, by the way, last night KILLED...but I don't want to hear anything by the Rolling Stones for another year or so...

Tuesday, May 04, 2004


DJ Tankboy
get really motherfuckin' Stoned.

It's Ruby Tuesday and we're playing
nothing but music by, that inspired, or is inspired by
The Rolling Stones.

Old school rock and/or roll attitude
mixed with only the finest selections
from yesterday, today and tomorrow.

TONIGHT, Tuesday May 4, 2004
Free PBR from 8-10pm
Free snacks and pizza from 9-10pm
Stunning musical selections from 9pm until 2am

Forgive me father, for I can't resist:
Everybody must get Stoned!

1056 N Damen
Chicago, IL

The Chicago RedEye says: "The teeny tables and scant booths don't leave a whole lot of room for sitting, but the crowd (hipsters from all over the city) is mainly music fans who are more comfortable on their feet anyway. Stop in on Tuesday nights, when the DJ plays the best retro-rock this side of Detroit Rock City...."

Monday, May 03, 2004


Okay, I admit I wasn't 100% behind the idea of a Rolling Stones theme night at Ten56, but now that we are a featured pick according to the Chicago Tribune's entertainment site I'm getting pretty stoked about it. Add to that the fact that I've been avidly hunting down all things Stones related in an effort to really make the evening surprising -- as opposed to mimicking a classic rock radio station -- and I think we're going to be a hit.

Also, it's been a while since I've seen Gimme Shelter -- even just playing in the background -- and I've always enjoyed that film. on top of that, since one can argue almost every artist has been influenced by the Stones I'm using that as an out to be pretty liberal with my song selections...

Sunday, May 02, 2004

Oh my god oh my god oh my god.

Textbook were so good last night. Think of a cross between Superchunk and a peppier Uncle Tupelo and I think you've got an idea of their sound. I'm supposed to get a copy of their new disc Tuesday (the one they can't find a lable for yet) and I'm dying to hearthe stuff on tape. As if that weren't good enough, Milk At Midnight did me the favor of killing the crowd with their rock attack. It was really a great night of music.

Now it's time to throw on my spelunking gear and retrieve my Sunday paper. Since some shmoe kept stealing it, I consulted with my paper guy -- it got so bad I actually have his cell number but don't worry, I tip well during the holidays -- and now they leave it in the dark pit that is the no-man's land between stairs of my building and the building next door. So basically I have to hook up some ropes, put on my safety helmet and slowly lower myself down until my fingertips can just grap the paper. Oh well, at least no one steals my funnies anymore.

Speaking of buildings, Photogal looked at a couple of two-flats yesterday she was interested in. Who would have ever thought I'd be dating a real estate magnate who rode BMW motorcycles.

Hmmm...I guess that does seem a pretty obvious choice for the likes of me, don't it?

Okay, to the gym with me!

Oh yeah, real quick-like...

I am so glad Sour Bob's little brother agrees with me on this one. I've ranted and raved about this trend in women's clothing in the past but goddamn it's nice to have someone validate my opinion with a similar view. Not that I seek out validation or anything, I'm just sayin' it's nice is all...